MUSHY POST ALERT!!!!!!!!!

Last night with Seth was amazing!!! He's done a complete 180, from distant and emotionally guarded, to sweet, warm, and passionate. Me gusta!!! It sounds pretty pathetic, but I think last night was the first time he has actually held my hand or put his arms around me when when were out in public. Which makes me happy because to me the gesture says that he actually cares about me, instead of me just being the girl he calls up when hes bored and lonely. When we were back at his apartment, the way he held me was just different than it had been before. It felt meaningful, closer, tighter. He called into work sick this morning so he could spend the day with me since I'm going back to my parents house this weekend. I don't understand why it took three months to get him to come around, but right now I'm really glad I decided to wait for him to get there!

Are you vomiting from the mushiness yet??

Well now I'm heading home for the weekend, catch up with high school friends and what not. I can't wait to see my cute little kitty! My apologies on the overly upbeat tone of this post. There is one thing that may or may not bother me about Seth... but I have yet to decide, and I'll post about it later.

I hate creepster neighbors

Al's obsession I fear is getting into the regions of "too far." He has texted me every night this week, always something along the lines of "You should come over and hang out" and offers to give me a bunch of free alcohol. I am much to smart to fall for this trick. And then when I say I'm busy with something else, homework or with other friends he acts like he's all hurt and offended. Puh-leeeze give it a rest. We have really only been friends for a month or so? Hah he texted me the other night "So I blew it huh? Fast track to friend status." I wasn't sure what he thought he did, but the way my friend Kat put it "better him think he did something wrong than know that you think he is ugly as hell." I don't know if I should pull the boyfriend card out to get him to back off, since I'm not 100% sure I have a boyfriend or not.

Me and Seth once drunkenly discussed being exclusive to each other, and we agreed on it, but I'm not sure if it counts or not. I don't care though, I really don't like labels anyway. And now that things are going better with us I'm not really interesting in dating anyone else, and I know he isn't either. That's enough of a commitment for me. :)

I have been thinking a lot about what will happen to us this summer though. I'm moving back home to my parents house for the summer, and he's staying here (my college town). The town I'm originally from is only about an hour away, and I will still be paying rent on my apartment, so visits aren't impossible. But I already have a job lined up back home, and I don't know how much time I'll get off. I also need a car, but I'm shopping around right now and should find one within the next month (hopefully). I'm done with school in three weeks, so my time with him is becoming more and more limited, and it's making my summer seem like it might be bittersweet. Well we're going out tonight, and I guess I'll just have to appreciate the now.

I should drink less...

So after ignoring Seth (the guy who I said was so "busy" all the time) for about a week or so, I finally gave in and answered one of his text. It's so funny how guys, or people in general I suppose, only want what is hard to obtain. We've hung out 4 out of the last 5 days. Suddenly, he's not too busy for me anymore. Despite him working for 60 hours this week, he still has time for me. It's great that I feel like I'm finally a factor in his life, that he wants to spend his spare time with me.

But unfortunately last night my neighbor Al (Ooo side story!!*) was pushing the jag bombs on me really hard, and I was pretty buzzed. Then I went to my friend Keri's who has a hot tub, and invited Seth to come over. He came over and things were fine, until I got even MORE drunk off a bunch of wine, and now my memory is pretty fuzzy of the events of the end of the night. I don't like getting really drunk around guys I want to date, most people don't find a drunk ass attractive. And the chances that I made an ass out of myself or was just all around annoying are high. God, I hope I didn't mess things up again, and have to ignore him for another week or two. I REALLY like having him around :).

Update: OH Thank god. Seth is at work right now, so I texted him "Sorry if I was annoying at all last night" and he said I wasn't!!!! Saved. But from now on I should maybe try to keep my tendency to get embarrassingly drunk on the DL while he's around.

*Side story!!! My neighbor Al and I get along really well and I like partying with him! Now he ruined it by asking me out on a date. It makes things awkward, there is NO way he is my type and call me shallow I don't care, but I know I am much higher than him on the scale of attractiveness. My other neighbor Blaine did this to me too. I don't understand why when I'm friends with a guy, they all think they can get with me. Plus it makes the friendship uncomfortable.

I can never think of good titles....

Well I've had a drink or two tonight, so bare with me. Today is day number 2 with no contact from Busy Man, but in all fairness I told him I wouldn't be free until this weekend, which was a complete lie of course. He could still call to check in on me though, not so hard right? Pssht whatever though. Got yet ANOTHER date set up this morning, with a foreigner might I add. Accent and all. Although he has no U.S. drivers license, and I don't have a car... so we'll see how this turns out. I heard he is quiet the playboy around campus though, so I think there will be a first date only. But as of now, I'm up for dating pretty much anyone once! I figure it can't hurt. I just hope he's not too aggressive and makes things awkward. I can definitely avoid unwanted passes, but it always makes things weird later. And I'm friends with all his frat brothers, and I know word will get around about anything and everything that happens, so I would like to keep my dignity intact.

I didn't get to play any April fools jokes on anyone today, which is a bummer. But no one got me either. I was going to call my sister up, shes super gullible. But I never got the chance. Maybe I'll play a late one on her, just for fun. As long as it's during the month of April right? Anyone else play any great tricks on anyone today?

Time to move on?

I've been unofficially dating this guy since late January, and I'm finally starting to get a little fed up with the way this "relationship" (if you can even call it that) is going. I think I'm about ready to finally throw in the towel. I don't feel like answering his next call or text. Which is something I've never done with a guy, just cut them off completely. But for some reason that's what I feel like doing. I'll most likely give in eventually.

So we've been seeing each other since January, and at first he had some major drama going on in his life, so I tried to give him space and all that jazz. Now its been 2 months, and all that is cleared up. But yet I still only see him once a week. Twice if I'm lucky. I understand he has a pretty busy schedule, but I think after two months I deserve a little more attention, don't you? I actually got much more when we first started dating. He also likes to call me when he's drunk, which was kinda cute at first, but now I'm sick of him only wanting to call me at 2 am. So I'm officially moving on. Although we never had "the talk" and decided to be exclusive, I really haven't dated anyone else since we started dating. But now I have decided to actively start dating. My neighbors friend has been asking me out for weeks and keep putting him off, and my friend's cousin was coming on STRONG to me last Saturday night. I realized I avoid even first dates with guys, and I'm really picky with who I would even consider dating, but it might be time to loosen up. Neither of those guys are super Casanovas but they deserve a chance right? And it will help keep my mind off "busy boy." Until he can give me the attention I deserve, I guess I'll just have to get it from other guys.

Getting to Know the Inner Me

I doubt I’ll be a very interesting “blogger“, but that wont stop me from doing it anyway. This is my way of (hopefully) releasing worries and gaining perspective. This is awkward to explain to no one, so I’ll just plunge right in instead.

I’m home for the weekend from college, got together with friends at a diner tonight, and nothing to interesting happened. But I wanted to get this blog going before I had something big to write about. I need to get comfortable with this first. It’ll come. It’s only Friday, but I’m already dreading Monday. Pathetic. I don’t want to leave my friends again. Sure, I have friends at college, but the bonds aren’t nearly as close as the ones I have with people I’ve known since elementary school. I wish I could have them around at school. Instead I just have drinking buddies. We have a good time, but never just sit around and talk for hours. I love that.